pregnancy sometimes.

sometimes when you're pregnant, the price is right turns into your favorite show ever, while your previous favorite show, a baby story, is now the most awful thing in the world to watch.

other times, it is perfectly normal to watch repeats of the bachelor while eating embarrassing amounts of cereal for dinner.

sometimes, you start uncontrollably crying because the FedEx man is a day late and you wanted that package on time, dang it all.

sometimes, you stare at your huge belly and laugh out loud when it looks like a sci-fi movie. "IT'S ALIVEEE!"

sometimes, you go to the Y and hop on the treadmill just so that you can watch the view, price is right, and other shows of the elderly. this is what happens when you don't have cable, trust me.

sometimes when you're pregnant, rubbing your belly with obscene amounts of vaseline seems like a great idea...until you realize that this stuff is greasy, sticky, and now all over the freshly laundered sheets.

other times, you use your husband's grandma's permit to park in the handicapped parking spots and don't feel bad about it...at all.

sometimes, you crave oranges, dove ice cream bars, and macaroni and cheese. other times, you eat all of the above foods and then throw them all up. yummy.

sometimes, you unhook your bra in public because it is
just. too. painful.
[why does it seem like my ribcage is getting bigger by the hour?!]

and best of all, sometimes you wake up forty million times each night to go pee. and getting all situated back in bed is equivalent to a beached whale trying to get back to sea.